Dark Passenger In My Bed by Lucas Williams

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ARTIST NOTES: I was living in my studio at the time and was being challenged by the inner conflict that was raging on in my mind. Struggling to get up out of bed this day, I was feeling low after escaping a domestically violent relationship days before. My depression felt like a heavy wet towel draped over my face, it was suffocating me. I knew if I was going to paint myself I would really need accept this moment in my life and let others in, bare my soul and show what I was trying to communicate and express. And what could be a more intimate space in which to do that then here in my refuge, my bed.


As an artist you need to have an inexhaustible level of self-belief to withstand all the tidal highs and lows of it all. In this moment I hadn’t eaten much in two days, lying there naked, sad, alone, vulnerable and exposed. I had taken down my guards, my armor, not leaving my studio and just letting myself be. Pain was seeping out of every orifice of my body like sap from a leaking tree.
The day slowly began to slip by. I noticed the sun had changed its position in the sky and afternoon light began to pour in from the window into my bed with me, lighting one side of my face in the darkness.


I thought it was beautiful how the light fell on the scrunched peaks and troughs of my bed sheets and seemed to reflect the highs and lows of my inner turbulence. Glimpsing myself in a mirror I saw my dark passenger within staring back at me though one side of my face.

Since we seem to be living in a world obsessed with social media that allows us to feel noticed and give us instant “selfie validation”. I decided to use the concept of the “the selfie“ and base my portrait on it rather showing my truth and pain.

There is a dark passenger which is the (shadow self) in us all - you cannot deny it or hide from it. As you sit behind life's wheel, driving every day your dark passenger sits beside you. It could be your self-doubt, fears, despair, ego, jealousy and anger. How much control do you let that passenger take behind your wheel?

The Dark Passenger in my bed, Oil on Canvas

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Artist: Lucas Williams

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